1. |
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I defied the wasting life
slept inside a dead dog rain woke me hopeless
and the birds sang out black
from the sharp twists of the brick
where the soft fists fell like stars in my eyes
humming with liquor I sang death to new Romes
fire walking
in our blood now
the wild sky above us
forever and for no one
every tight fist
holds an absence
an idiot destroyer oh
all these things forgiven
losing numbers I fell in time with you
it rained a bible rain and we fell laughing on the floor
my favorite danger
breathed in the moon
and shattered all the stars in my eyes
oh my god I've seen pleasure like a breaking wave
fire walking
in our blood now
the wild sky above us
forever and for no one
every tight fist
holds an absence
an idiot destroyer oh
all these things forgiven
when we rise
we rise so high
cross and calvary forever out of sight
ascending night
glitter slow
somewhere in the pulse a perfect place to go
some sweet humming burden half lit in the snow
fire walking
in our blood now
the wild sky above us,
forever and for no one
every tight fist
holds an absence
an idiot destroyer oh
sing the sky down
if the song is true true true
you always had the power
but man you never knew it
every dark thought
the crime in the eyes of the criminal
crossed you like a shadow oh
everything forgiven
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2. |
Wasting My Time
04:28
|
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If you wake and find me gone
do not follow me
through the telepathic night
through the narrowing day
I am told it is better this way
I been wasting my time
I been wasting my time
another novel turns to pulp
at the bottom of a sea of red red wine
I been wasting my time
the moon hangs high like a portrait of your mind
lying in the unmade bed
'til another sun kisses the lip of your weary eye
and you swear you will do better this time
I been wasting my time
I been wasting my time
another song gives up its form
in a bed so wide and warm I know
I been wasting my time
I been wasting my time
I been wasting my time
I been rising with the dust
and falling like your chest
when you let out that breath you drew in
just before the airplane crashed
and I just want you to come over
and stop my troubled mind
turn the TV on
pour the drinks up to the lips
let my silent blood curl
towards the wilderness
we can talk about the weather
we can talk about your friends
we can talk about anything
except the thing I can't forget
in the darkness of my bed
in the locked room of my mind
I know
I been wasting my time
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3. |
Hangs Hooks
05:14
|
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all we ever wanted
the cool hands of sleep around our neck
the oceans sing beneath our candlelight and crashing waves whisper losing is a kind of peace and the tongues of mermaids kiss blisters away
another glass of wine
a crisis of creamy skin blooms
Here in this high white space I understand the animal trapped in highway light the way any lost sweetness hangs hooks in your heart
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4. |
Song for the Singer
12:29
|
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here's a song for the singer who's trembling with light
so bright and so brief a bulb burning
out in the darkness of the held breath blue hour
she lets me see the way her eyes are wet and rimmed around with
red like the skin around my handprint on her hip
I am the secret that she will not tell the next one
There'll be peace in the valley child but not 'til we're old
'til our bodies have abandoned their planetary
pulls on my collar breathes from deep in her throat
she says let's make it hotter than a center-
fold me in two I am weak as a dollar
I am passed from hand to hand for pleasure
but in the clear night
when I stand at the mirror
proud and upright
flying like a flag
muscles singing
in a hundred part harmony
my body's meaning
unlocked by her body
When she holds me in her arms I know it is not me at all
it is the wish that is the heartache that will kill her by and by
and by the way her hand lights on my hip at the bar
I know for certain that tonight we will be lovers
she says your clothes look so good in a pile on my floor
I say the idea of you is enough to start a war
it's heat lightning in my heart
her heartbeat mingles with the rain drums on the windowsill
and it seems every single thing's alive and so so far away
but in the clear night
when I stand at the mirror
proud and upright
flying like a flag
muscles singing
in a hundred part harmony
my body's meaning
unlocked by her body
and every now and again she comes to me in a dream
she says you don't have the gift the gift has you
she says let your demons cover you in kisses
she says you never gave me quite enough
and in the morning I feel the absence after the train
and my heart rings and rings like the telephone in the apartment next door
it rings louder
and it beats harder
it is the clenching of the fist in my chest
it is a heart that will beat me to death
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5. |
Slow Life
05:27
|
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Soft eyed seeker did you find your mercy blow
lucky victim safely carried home
your face in shadow and then your face in light
blameless sleeper rough hands reached you
kissed you bloody to the ground
oh that slow life
it’s a love song all the time
watch the waves speak
one word only
over and over and over
beauty only deepens with defeat
brown hair blown wild soft hands worry stone
s
honey you know it’s ok not to be christ come down
I’ve loved you always but you just love the architecture of your mind
oh that slow life
it’s a love song all the time
it was glory
you were glory
skipping stones at the sky
watching the waves wreck
in your dry eyes
the same mistake every time
slowly glory burns
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6. |
Invisible Order
08:18
|
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we fell asleep
on your narrow couch while the blue snow fell
the breath of an invisible order of things
shone where your hair touched my wrist
when we awoke we moved so slow
silence came down like a blanket of snow on and on
You turned away
I could still taste your tears on my lips
the teeth of an invisible order of things
tore the park apart
I am restless in my blood
and I trust no marriage bed
I see my life laid out from ship to shore to ship to shore
but I am awake in the golden city
I am awake in the golden city
and Caroline I want to come home
Caroline I want to come home
when I awoke I moved so slow
trembling with freedom, nowhere to go on and on
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7. |
Lullaby
07:56
|
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the endless dream of days
lost underneath the covers
turning time away
just like all good lovers
and hey baby there's nothing to fight about
but hey baby what you doin still hangin round
the things your body knows
the way you lost your clothes, darlin it's a sin
it buries me in snow
this morning is a joke I never need to hear again
did you sleep well
did you dream at all
did you sleep well
did you dream at all
did you sleep well
you better go now
you can take your
coffee on the train
I'll say I broke the mug
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8. |
Holy Night
03:58
|
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holy night
when I can set this whole mess right
give away my long low life
let my worries die in you
let my worries die
holy night
I gave until I lost my mind
jealous of each trace of light
that ran along your skin so white
holy night
I'm paying for it all my life
something woke in me that will not die
you were never half as kind
as when you took your hand from mine
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Wilder Maker New York
photo by Ebru Yildiz
contact: wildermaker at gmail
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