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Male Models

by Wilder Maker

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    - 12" vinyl version of the new album
    - Features photos by Ebru Yildiz
    - Designed by Katie Von Schleicher

    Includes unlimited streaming of Male Models via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Male Models via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 45 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $14 USD or more 

     

1.
i’m sorry i was late to your party where everyone was so effortless I was starting at a wall for no discernible reason counting all the thumbtack holes staring at a nightmare bug who saw the light and froze i’m sorry that i told your sister’s boyfriend he was history’s greatest monster and got up on a chair and announced to the party that we were all living in a fiction up to the thighs in blood and grinning, fighting for the wheel in a car rushing to the rim i’m sorry that i drank all your expensive gin and bummed too many cigarettes see us standing on the lip of that sinking ship party playlist playing on forever perfect songs if we could turn it all around we could turn it all around i don’t know how i’m sorry I threw up on your bath mat and demanded another glass of wine and your sister’s number it’s just that i never felt so small in the face of disaster like a mouse broken in a trap so sick and so complicit like a spring in a rifle lifted see us standing on the lip of that sinking ship party playlist playing on forever perfect songs see us standing on the lip of that sinking ship party playlist playing on forever perfect songs if we could turn it all around we could turn it all around if we could turn it all around we could turn it all around i don’t know how and when the sun crashes in on my eyelids I have a suffering I know will end
2.
Text after text I wait for a hit sunlight, pop music, unshackled like a tourist dreamed some apocalypse spared me forget it all a puff of smoke the minute that I feel that jolt of someone who remembered i was waiting here when you’re not around I don’t know typing until the sun goes just to sweep the hours along like a pro professional if you shuffled my days on earth nothing would change at all I’m sure all the ordinary secrets like a pro professional rock and roll betrayed us i carry a cold glass and a warm hand outside but everyone’s at work in their hearts frowning over secret grudges and unmet desires invisible lines snaking everywhere like tripwires when you’re not around I don’t know typing until the sun goes just to sweep the hours along like a pro professional if you shuffled my days on earth nothing would change at all I’m sure the soft arms of time hold me down like a pro professional it’s an awful crush in my mind but none of it shows up in the lines of the photo of me raising the glass like a pro professional when you’re not around I don’t know typing until the sun goes just to sweep the hours along like a pro professional if you shuffled my days on earth nothing would change at all I’m sure I need you here so I have somewhere to look that looks back at me
3.
some sick moon hidden through concrete woke me up singing wagon wheel pounded on the wall with my empty fist singing no light sir not here I hear the devil pouring someone’s one last drink after the bars let out a thousand deli sandwiches in their greasy paper floating home carried in plastic bags jammed with paper eaten alone at the kitchen table thrown in the trash they cut down the tree out back now the dirt can see the way we really live Jen crying by the wall one high heel on its side when you die you never come back so I dream a life of dancing never letting no one down in a taxi through the town no more strangers in my living room the last days of waste and worry onto new anxieties I know the answer I don’t want to know when you die you never come back so I dream a life of dancing never letting no one down in a taxi through the town no more strangers in my living room the last days of waste and worry onto new anxieties I know the answer but I let it go
4.
it’s too damn hot for the wounded looks the fighting over the bill i lay down my credit card a solid deep blue like the ocean i say we’re all gonna sit here, drink beer til the sun goes down we’re gonna shake off the echo of all that we coulda done flushed by the jukebox he catches me he wants to split the bill look in his eyes good and long and then I go to take a piss feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight coming on feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight coming on with myself or anyone with nothing all day long static never dies unless you set it off Kit wants to go so we go, I sign the bill with one wavy line could be my name or anyone’s nobody ever minds the cut school thrill of day drinking fades into headache now heat so hot it got personal, hate mail from god above pigeons oily dark picking at the sidewalk cracks below the whole world looks like a finger slammed inside a car door feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight coming on feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight feel a fight, feel a fight, feel a fight coming on with myself of anyone else with my life or how it once felt when I see them loose in the light i want a face bruised like a sunset a face like a sunset
5.
surfers trace the long line of a triangle in loose threads like pencil marks, a seagull’s eye black catching light the boardwalk neon I had a vision and it died no need to tell a soul photos in magazines where the ocean was brighter than in reality, four small crabs on a bench tonight will they break the tiny legs and feast will the boy recall forever the warm light and the table full men silent as birds at the urinals unreadable faces death in traces endless meals of bright colors, yellow plantain, red cabbage, green avocado limes bursting on your fingers the mirror’s not my friend, never has been the sand stays in my toes, I hate this body but I love you so I have to change my life or be forever washed away
6.
they met at a party between the rustling of coats in a subterranean bar in the east village ghost where everyone had a novel and the bathroom had two people and the sound of the keys echoing off the tile she drank red wine but she never once paid a master of economies beyond what men made she saw layers and behaviors had a nose for the eternal put herself in the void let the map form around her he drank vodka in a loose aspiration towards purity running lonely miles round the park and then smoking spirits to ashes on the walk up flatbush sweat freezing on his lashes in the too early darkness what men fear the most is the end of rules and anyone who knows can rule em all power must remain hidden or it can be undone like a single knot holding up a black dress nothing was said but everything changed on armchairs at the editor’s place his library towering above them she smoked out the window her legs over the arm the air blurred like a love song on an old 45 when Cal stood to go she said she was going too a bead flew from the rosary and everyone knew the men made a bunch of noise before they did what she said they couldn’t stand to see the death threat spelled out in sex they had to shake hands and she watched them what men fear the most is the end of rules and anyone who knows can rule em all power must remain hidden or it can be undone like a single knot holding up a black dress the editor finishes his 12 year scotch slowly under the wall of books he is untouched by jealousy the coke builds houses around him the coke builds houses around him he is smiling in the barricaded fortress of his life he is smiling in the barricaded fortress of his life and the dullest way to die, yeah the dullest way to die the dullest way to die is money what men fear the most is the end of rules and anyone who knows can rule em all power must remain hidden or it can be undone like a single knot holding up a black dress
7.
Scam Likely 02:08
ecstatic visions by starlight a day shift stuck at the bar cutting limes to a playlist sadists made to keep down any talk it’s a privilege to be dying at the center of the culture i’m just glad to be invited to the end of the line no really i’m fine i don’t need any money i don’t need any respect wake up at two o clock is somebody getting murdered should i be calling the cops what if the cops come and murder whoever i was trying to keep alive you can’t help me til i want it i just want another glass an effective coping strategy is getting trashed undisturbed by ego murder hear the monks outside the discount liquor burst in ragged laughter in the yellow signs light in the cold Zion night i don’t need any money i don’t need any respect wake up a two o clock to a cell phone scam your loan’s been flagged for forgiveness counselors wait for your call maybe I could be new again thinking on my back in bed in the black
8.
another year of economy cars corpse crumpled on the side of the iron divide there’s not enough coffee in the county to keep me safe from my own mind ooh let me touch that speed push me down into the seats while the whole world waits on me in that silver car, in that silver car see the light cut the dark two arcs then the blue pours in no one needs forgiveness for what they want there was nothing we could do so we just rolled on, we just rolled on drive me all night long ooh let me touch that speed push me down into the seats while the whole world waits on me in that silver car, in that silver car music too loud to talk, decline the call take the curve hard, something’s living inside the wall paint the trees with light never back down from a fight you can never win ooh let me touch that speed push me down into the seats while the whole world waits on me in that silver car, in that silver car thrown back into the seat I can almost break through suburban street the clock reads 2:03 half drunk at the wheel lips split in a wolf’s grin i can see your teeth shine i know you’ll always win, you’ll always win so take me with you then ooh let me touch that speed push me down into the seats while the whole world waits on me in that silver car, in that silver car
9.
5 Train 04:11
I drink my coffee black with the roaches in the traps for company then catch the 5 to work i see you on the sign one wild curving line takes me from nothingness to life your beach blown hair your golden thighs they have escaped me all my life I’m in love with you, i’m in love with you I know you’d feel it too your name sits on the side in seconds i can find hundreds of angles see your boyfriend and your hotel breakfast tray and i can write declare my undying love from the subway car anxiously refresh beg and plead rage and flash I could live and die in the windows of text all alone in the windows of my eyes i’m in love with you, I’m in love with you i know you’d feel it too step off of the train a briefcase full of flame the yellow platform edge is scarred with black dirt will it ever feel like it did before i’m in love with you, i’m in love with you I know you’d feel it too
10.
there’s no room in the room for the view there’s room in the song for the truth there’s no room in my life for somebody like you but there you are anyway and I’m dealt into a game I said I never wanted to play now every word out of my mouth becomes a bluff and you smile, in my chair drinking my wine now winning consumes me I jump through hoops easy just like they taught me when i was a kid i thought if i could be perfect nobody could hurt me nobody could touch me well you know how that goes you think of Jordan soaring through the flashbulbs but really I only know half love surrounded by people who’ll never know my heart they couldn’t touch me if they tried to how does the old curse go? may you get what you wish for silent smiling round that table I can feel the hatred coming for me shoulda known you were born to play the victim silent smiling round that table i can feel the punishment coming for me I drink it up it beats being like you
11.
game clock running a city’s breath is held photographers twisting to get the shot the fans are murmuring their drunken prayers the players minds are clear as glass magnifying who you are when the stakes are high is who you are in every eye no one knows your mind but everyone knows you and everyone sees you the numbers tell the story and they never lie as the shot goes up no one knows the answer that’s already written in the arc before it crystallizes in the minds of daytime callers filled with biblical rage who you are when the stakes are high is who you are in every eye no one knows your mind but everyone knows you and everyone sees you the numbers tell the story and they never lie who you are when the stakes are high is who you are in every eye no one knows your mind but everyone knows you and everyone sees you the numbers tell the story and they never lie so shut your mouth no excuses the story that survives will tell you who you are the winner’s swarmed by his team his face repeats on every screen where it means something else to everybody the dream of our lives is unbroken the paper cups crushed the seats refolded
12.
Jason 02:40
Jason waits in a pool of streetlight slouching hands deep in his pockets i paste a wry look on my face and slip into the other side of the light he floats in brothers more than friends i say thanks for coming up here, just with the new job and the move things have been kinda crazy he tells me about his new dream i say damn what happened to the last one look i just mean we worry i start to say but i catch his eyes see all the anger there he smiles but there’s no smile there he says you change but everybody keeps on seeing what they know you work so hard to change but everybody keeps on seeing what they think they know so you do it all alone before i can speak he’s out the door so i raise my hand for the check and I sign right on the dotted line

credits

released July 29, 2022

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Wilder Maker New York

photo by Ebru Yildiz

contact: wildermaker at gmail

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